The In-Between

 The In-Between

“Watching a tree grow will likely drive you crazy. It’s a boring process if you stand there, impatiently tapping your foot, waiting for it to do something. But if you step away and come back later, you’ll be surprised to see something beautiful emerge. The fact is the plant is doing something: it’s growing. Just not as quickly as you might like. Our culture has conditioned us to expect instant results and overnight success; this impatience runs so rampant that we dress it up in terms like “efficiency” and “productivity.” But really what’s happening is we are conditioning ourselves to get what we want now, all the time. This mindset robs us of the lessons that waiting can teach us, causing us to miss out on the slow but important stuff of life.” 
― Jeff Goins, The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing


The Doorway is cracked and I can see the beyond, yet one foot remains planted in it's comfortable shoe on the side it has always known. The side of the door that is familiar and provides.
They tell me that your foot needs a shoe and to keep that shoe you must remain on this side of the door. If you walk through that door, there is no telling where your shoe will end up or if you will keep it at all.

This Shoe is old, 11 years to be exact, and worn. The sole is tired and weary.
Laces are frayed, yet remains intact, this does not mean that it is always safe to walk in.
Worn out treads can create slips and strain on the body.
I feel the strain.

Always admiring others shoes: are they reasonable, sensible, too costly?

What IF!

I kick the shoe to the wind and see where it lands.

To enter the doorway barefoot and free

Digging my toes and heels into the earth.

This could get messy.

I view the crack in the door - has it opened further since the last time I looked?

At times the mind plays tricks and doubt sounds like the clicking of a lock.

The In-Between 

A baby bird standing on a limb learning to fly.

The In-Between

Standing on the limb Stretching my Wings

The In-Between

wiggling my toes

testing the waters

The In-Between at times is messy, yet soon this worn shoe will fly.

~Nikki 9/19/18

High Arts and the Gypsy Train

Art Competitions can be a crazy ride. The Joy of being accepted, to walking in for drop off and install, you see ALL of the amazing artwork and artists you are showing and competing along side of.
When I received the email that I was accepted my heart was filled with glee, yet then the "old tapes" began when viewing the other submissions.

My head: " yeah like I stand a chance" "don't get your hopes up", and on and on. I take myself aside and have a bit of an internal talking to, reminding myself that I am pretty much a baby in this world of Art and so many people have worked so very hard for years on their craft.
I stand in awe in front of certain pieces that move me or just outright amaze me. These works of Art, these Artists inspire me to continue on, to learn, push harder and grow!

All of the thoughts on how to get votes fill my mind. Voting Parties! Yeah how nice would it be to just have the Gypsy Train flow in with all of MY PEOPLE, just waltz in and cast votes for ME ME ME?!

After much thought, um... that would not be very rewarding. Yes - Winning would be amazing in more ways than one, yet to have votes from those who do not know me and voted because my art/sculpture moved them or spoke to them means so much more than the Train of People walking, bee-lining to the Kiosk without a glance at any other Art in the room.

How, I ask - is that winning?

As for my Submission

I have nestled into the knowledge that "no matter the outcome" I win

If I have touched you

made you ponder

filled your soul

Brought a smile to your face

Lifted a bit of the load

Inspired you in anyway

I Win and So do you

There is so much talent this year, not just in the visual arts realm, but Music, Dance, Theater, and Film. Please take the time to view the amazing works that have been submitted, honor the Artist by casting your vote based not on their name or how well known they are, but on the work alone and how it spoke to you.             High Arts Festival Artists and voting

        ~ Nikki 2017

Time to Fall

Time to Fall

Most days are a time to Plug on, Stand Tall, Hold your head High, yet today I allow myself to Fall.

fall

fôl/

verb

gerund or present participle: falling

1. 1.

   move downward, typically rapidly and freely without control, from a higher to a lower level.

   
   

   "bombs could be seen falling from the planes"

   
   

   synonyms:

   drop, descend, come down, go down;  plummet, plunge, sink, dive, tumble;  cascade "bombs began to fall"

   • 
     
   • 
     
   • 
     

     
     
   • 
     
   • 
     

     
     
2. 2.

   (of a person) lose one's balance and collapse.

   
   

   "she fell down at school today"

   
   

   synonyms:

   topple over, tumble over, keel over, fall down/over, go head over heels, go headlong, collapse, take a spill, pitch forward;  trip, stumble, slip;  informalcome a cropper "he tripped and fell"

1. To Fall is humbling. How do you learn to stand if you have never fallen? When down, how many hands do you see offered to lift and support? Look around you and notice that you are not alone, that there are others around you that decided, consciously or not, today was a good day to Fall. Some of those fell hard and crumpled, while others floated like the feather detached from a ruffled wing in flight. No matter the form of falling, you can lay and rest, look to the sky and still take in the beauty. There are days where I wish to spill into life, to tumble freely with no regard, yet the days  of introspection, walking the downward spiral, I cautiously stumble through the dark, taking in and listening to the shadows that wish to purge and move on. This seems to be the law of progress in everything we do; it moves along a spiral rather than a perpendicular; we seem to be actually going out of the way, and yet it turns out that we were really moving upward all the time.  ~Frances E. Willard The process of Falling, for me, is a time to cleanse and purge. To go through and remove no longer needed items that have taken over my sacred space.  These items have been well loved and utilized, yet are now ready for new homes or gifted as donations of inspiration. If you wish to be on the receiving end for Random Falling Gifts, please leave a comment or email me your address and I will be happy to supply! There in no fee in receiving these gifts, yet donations or a "give what you can" is always welcome. Remember: you can Fall hard or gracefully, yet you need never to Fall alone. All my best, ~ Nikki

Photographs and Memories

To Capture Memories you must begin making them!

Lately I have been thinking back of past days, months, years and find that my Soul is in a bit of starvation mode. These past few months have been a bit grueling. In the grueling moments I notice all of this time just floating by without me capturing moments. Moments of time with my family or just the time to sit in silence and be present.

I have always loved looking through old photos with my Grandmother, Mother, and my children. I love the stories of old and wish to create new stories so that my children can pass these along to their children and so on.

Because of this desire and need I have been making many "Memory Jars" and "Gifting Jars"
a place where when you go make memories you can drop in a memento to later look at and remember the joy you had that day or moment. To remind yourself that even through the rough times, you can still smile and make something good and joyful.

These are for Sale and can be purchased online or at my Studio @ACoT Studio 209
I will also customize if you are interested.

Below are a few others that I have created

Renewal

Neverland

 Secret Garden

 Gifting Jar

Time to make some Memories! ~ Nikki

Memory Jars

Renewal $40.00 USD NeverLand $40.00 USD Secret Garden $45.00 USD Gifting Jar $25.00 USD

Aspire Dream Doll Workshop - Fill Your Soul

 The Secret is in the Stuffing

The Story: My Journey Back

It was a Tuesday ~ October 22, 2013 
Week 2 into my Journey back into the Artist Way.
Recovering a Sense of Identity

Through the many lessons within this chapter the quote:
 "In creative Recovery, it is not necessary that we change any of our beliefs. It is necessary that we examine them."

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

This was a chapter to face the dragons named Crazy Makers and address self-definition as a major component of creative recovery. Drawing new boundaries and staking out new territories as your personal needs, desires, and interests announced themselves. Personal Identity and self-define you. (the Artist's Way)

This threw me into a weeklong of examining "MY STUFF"
I felt so empty with doing and giving and giving and giving that my cup never runneth over - it just ran dry.
I found that instead of replenishing I would just crash.
So again my thoughts turned to "MY STUFF"
What do I hold sacred?
What do I feed my soul?

Me being the lover of words I needed to make certain I knew exactly what STUFF meant
Stuff - noun
a skill, ability, or knowledge that makes a person able to do
capability, gift, knack, talent, makings, potentiality
~the basic elements from which something can be developed
the quality or qualities that make a thing what it is.

I came to the conclusion that I have some pretty good STUFF going on and that I needed to make the decision to fill myself with the Good and Sacred unless I wished to watch my already weakened roots shrivel.

Out of this week Birthed my Affirmation Dolls
Raw and Rustic just like my soul

These Dolls are meant to be filled with whatever you hold Sacred inside of yourself. What you wish to feed your spirit. I made the decision that with this week of reading that I no longer could rely on others to fill my cup that it was time for me to replenish myself so that I could be a better Mother, Partner, a better Me.
Some of my stuff that fills me up

A slip of a picture that my child drew
a special rock handed to me with dirty little hands
a flower petal that fell at my feet
A "wish" that landed in my hair
a bird song that floated down from the trees
a written prayer

The little things that I need to remember to just pay attention.

"My Grandmother knew what a painful life had taught her, success or failure, the truth of a life really has little to do with its quality. The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention." (the Artist's Way)

These Dolls come packaged with a bag of "love stuffing" for better plumping capacity.
A needle and thread for "closure" upon completion of filling
These are blessings to get passed down to your children or gifted to other friends or loved ones who may have forgotten what goodness they DO have within.
They can be reopened and replenished because we at times have to reexamine 
We are always a work in progress and that in itself is Beautiful.

Through this week is where the name 
ASPIRE, DREAM, and JINGLE
 came 
into being.

                                                                                                 ~Nikki

September 23,2016

Come Join me January 7th, 2017 @ Art Center on Tusc Studio 209

 Create and Design your own Aspire Doll

Find your Good Stuff Within 

Fill your Soul

Great for Kids and Adults of all Ages
$30 for Workshop or the Kit

*If you are unable to attend in person I would be more than happy to send you an Aspire Dream Doll Kit to Create and Design at  your own leisure or if you wish to purchase a kit as a gift you can send me the address of the Person being gifted and I will mail to them directly for you. 

During Check out you can supply a message stating attend in person or prefer kit.

Kit Includes:

Hand Sewn Aspire Doll

1 Bag of Love Stuffing

A Needle and Thread for Closure

The Story Behind the Aspire Doll

Gift Bag

and of course your first objects of Goodness to Fill your Soul!

November Thanks and December Give 2016

 HOPE

So it is nearing the end of November and I hadn't put out any offers for this month in regards to Aspire Art Bomb packages.

Even thought the Month of November is rolling to an end the Giving of Thanks should transcend.

Onward to December where the ideas have seem to shift into "I want I want I want", yet GIVING oh the joy of GIVING is so amazing.

So these months I combine and bring you Novedecember - the Thankful of Giving month!

If you like to surprise others and lift their spirits, because we all know the Holidays aren't so Holly for everyone, then think about surprising them with a gift of Apiration, Inspiration, and many Jingles.

This will be a Smash up Art Bomb package filled with my Artwork in the Theme of Thankfulness and Giving. A perfect way to show that special friend or family member that you are grateful for them. To brighten another's day with reminders of all the GOOD things in life that at times are overlooked.

The SMASH UP boxes are available to purchase for $40 a box.

Thank you and Happy Holidays,

Nikki

Just a Reminder - October Aspire Art Bomb packages!

Just a friendly Reminder to all of my subscribers that the October Art Bomb packages are available.

 If you are interested in purchasing you can email me at nikkiart.adaj@gmail.com 

 Below is the link to the Blog that shows what this offer will bring you. 

http://artichokewoman.blogspot.com/2016/10/october-aspire-art-bomb-packages.html

  Thank you in advance! Nikki 

Keep Aspiring!

October Aspire Art Bomb packages - Falling Gracefully (petals and leaves)

October  ~2016

Falling Gracefully

(Petals and Leaves)

Falling Gracefully (petals and leaves): 

When the weather shifts and the wind brings changes of new colors, yet bare limbs shiver naked in the elements, 

Mother Nature provides a kaleidoscope blanket upon the ground.

 Cushioning the fall that, at times, the extended darkness brings.

Today I choose to fall Gracefully

Sink into the dark, yet wrap myself in color and light. 

One is never far from the other.

Build your cocoon, envelop yourself in Creation and Creativity.

Focus and look at the shadows

Greeting them with acceptance and light.

Included in this month's Aspire Art Bomb packages are:
Pieces of Me Petal print
Spirit doll with Journal

*some additional fun creative items as well.

A value of $50, yet priced at $40
There will only be 7 packages available. If you are interested please email me at nikkiart.adaj@gmail.com for payment information.

Blessings,
Nikki

Welcome New Monthly Aspire Art Bomb Package Subscribers!

Thank you for Subscribing!

This is my Blog where I will be adding all of my new Monthly Aspire Art Bomb package offers to, yet also!!! This will be the platform for a new avenue I am taking as well furthering my creative journey in crossing that bridge to dreamland!

Coming soon I will be offering online creative art workshop/classes that you can join in at your leisure!

Stay Tuned - there is always more to come!!

Blessings,
Nikki - Aspire Dream and Jingle

Occupational Residue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you know that residue resides within the walls?

Residual memories of occupants before

before you

before them

before

A U-Haul pulls up to the front

the man jumps out only to rip and toss the "FOR RENT" sign out into the middle of the road

A sigh escapes from the foundation below his feet.

AH YES another family feasted upon and spit out.

The family, a few short months prior, moved in

a spring to their step

a faint glimmer to the eye of what?

Hope

a fresh start?

Yet they didn't know

they didn't know

 

They didn't know the family before whose children played within its walls gazing through the glass wanting to play out

fresh air

sunshine

yet no - the mother lay within, a heart disease, unable to make the journey of the staircase to escape asbestos and mold

Little boy waves to me with large eyes and pale flesh from the top floor window.

They didn't know that not long before they moved in the mother collapsed and perished as her children watched from down the hall.

Ambulance Screaming, for them, down the road because they were unable to Scream for themselves.

 

Family moves in - 4 children, mom, dad, yet the walls whisper to then overcompensate.

The children are taken outside to remain until allowed back within its folds.

While the Screams inside now manifest.

BITCH YOU WILL....

the sound of glass

A SLAP

and yes... a siren

Wailing up to the opening of its dark mouth

Wailing for the children that can't

 

Yes - Residual memories of Occupants before

a FOR RENT sign should have flyers compared to that of a CARFAX

     FOR RENT

enter at your own risk

can occupy a family of 4, yet holds millions.

 

August 15th - #Writeyourselfalive - particles

 

Can I have another 24 hours?

 

A Blackboard eraser

Just a spritz of water to allow it to run away.

Remember when you were a child at the end of the school day

Raising your hand to be the one to wipe the board away

to pound the dust away

particles of knowledge floating in the air

entering the brains of children through inhalation

 

 

 

 

Knowledge, if not copied, just disappears

they are what they see, they become what they hear.

Can I have another 24 hours to pound away the lessons of yesteryear?

Day 10 - August 10, 2014 - #writeyourselfalive - A Wave of light so Small Pandora Unleash

 

Definition of Pandora's box

1. Noun. (Greek mythology) a box that Zeus gave to Pandora with instructions that she not open it; she gave in to her curiosity and opened it; all the miseries and evils flew out to afflict mankind.

A box labeled: Vacuum Attachment Tools, topples over as I cut left into my drive.
The scent that spills is that of long ago perfume, spritzed upon cards, holding heartache and empty words.
Promises of long ago that never reached the harvest.

I gather bound memories and carry them over the threshold.
Placing them upon the table preparing the surface for dissection.
This is a massive autopsy of a soul. Memories that run intestinal miles.
Will I every find the blockage?

Vacuum Attachment Tools: how appropriate.

Every card, every word splayed upon the surface.
Piles of parts in organized stacks.
You promised to be an organ donor, yet you donated a diseased heart and your breath of words escaped from cancerous lungs.

Too late for sutures and bandages
The Box is open, yet the box is me.
Welcoming the wind of Memories.
Memories of another gifting them to me.
The Giver to the Given.

The Giver alone holds the memories of the true pain and pleasure of life.
The receiver of memories
Memories shared is a Soul lifted.


“But why can't everyone have the memories? I think it would seem a little easier if the memories were shared. You and I wouldn't have to bear so much by ourselves, if everybody took a part."

The Giver sighed. "You're right," he said. "But then everyone would be burdened and pained. They don't want that. And that's the real reason The Receiver is so vital to them, and so honored. They selected me - and you - to lift that burden from themselves.”
― Lois Lowry, The Giver    


No they don't want that, yet too late the box is open.

At the very bottom of the container was the last thing to come out. It was something that wasn't evil. We call the good that Pandora unleashed by the name of hope.

"Not all the ties, for one, a little one, remains, like hope in the bottom of Pandora-s box. A wave of light so small that a thousand would scarcely reach ..."  Outlines of the Evolution of Weights and Measures and the Metric System by William Hallock, Herbert Treadwell Wade (1906)

Day 8 - #writeyourselfalive - tis but a dream

The waking from discombobulating dreams

leaves me disoriented and hovering between the worlds of awareness and mist

half my mind is stuck in elsewhere while the other attempts to shake this feeling of woe

It's all but a dream they say

An envelope filled with sand, sparkles and sadness

 

I would've assisted if you only asked it states

yet how could I ask if I never knew

even though the assistance was not needed, only the asking of you.

Day 6 - August 6th - #writeyourselfalive - At times the Silence is by far more Shrilling

 

 

The Silencing of Song

 

 

 

Need I Say More?

 

~ Illustrations Done by Nikki Bartel (aka artichoke woman) 

Day 4 - August 4th - #writeyourselfalive - Lucid Waters Damn the Wall

This might become a jumbled mess of thoughts, a stream, river, yet maybe just a slight trickling spring running down the mountain, free to roam wherever it wishes - UNLESS there is a DAMN DAM - BLOCK - manmade wall. Then it either dries up and cracks or becomes a muddy muddled mess of quicksand.

I find myself at times at the Wall

Towering laughing rumbling

Looking down tossing stones

"YOU WILL NOT BREAK MY BONES" stones

Because I, little trickling spring, am lucid

I move and flow, bend and smooth

Your rockiness I will shape into creative curves.

We all have cracks and yours I can find.

I will slowly wear and run through you.

You might not feel me at first, yet that crack will open wider as my fluid washes away your sediment.

An opening ,so glorious, will appear that the sun will rise and shine through you!

 

Photo Credit: http://www.murraymitchell.com/2011/06/sun-shining-through-hole-in-mountain/

August 3- Day 3 #writeyourselfalive - Where did Yesterday Go?

Yesterday came and gone and I sit and think of all the Things I could've, should've, would've done if....

I attempted this #writeyourselfalive back in February and I go back to my first writing of that time

February 25, 2014

Write your life away they say. Type your life away I do, yet not for my pleasure – for the pay. I sit behind this computer hours on days, days to weeks, years years and more years. My shoulders are quasied and my back is aching. Wrists splints, pinched nerves. I crumple with every clack. My keys are worn along with my body. No letters to remain on the board just memories of my fingerprints feeling the ghost of alphabets.

 Where is the letter N my daughter asks? Well I can feel it for you, but you won’t see it because my clack has worn the N right off the board.  How do you do that type without eyes? It is all programming of the mind. Oh the mind programming we go through to survive this path they call life, yet my mind is on an adventure, yet my body is trapped behind the screen. Almost a semi paralysis, but not really since I have the option of standing up.  So really no comparison there.

 

I am no longer "shoulding" myself. Like YESTERDAY... how many times did I say you have 5 more hours until this day is over... you SHOULD write something! 11:23pm: It is almost Midnight... a new day is upon you... you SHOULD write something! 12:13am - next day... Day Three... where did yesterday go I ask?

It went on a Journey with two little girls in tow to find the perfect pair of shoes in a wonderland of thrift. It went to watching my littles clippity clop around in sparkled heels and purses of plenty that held stories within their folds of previous owners. It went to the giggles of littles hiding in the largest Narnia Wardrobe ever. Yesterday was a room filled with wonders of others, left behind or gifted away so that others could play amongst the broken, used, and tossed.

I will not Should myself because even though the pen did not hit paper or the fingers did not clack, the story still wrote itself upon grey matter.

 

 

August 1st - Day One of #writeyourselfalive - Did She Really Want To?

 

The sound of incoming incoming incoming....

another chime

another bell

Ding

Ringtones

Another invite via Facebook Nation

I look at the Title

WRITE YOURSELF ALIVE

how appropriate since today I feel anything but

 

I have spent the past month doing almost everything in my power to NOT write...

why you might ask? well ....

lately words to me are just that words. At times so meaningless coming out of another's mouth.

Me a LOVER of words, the breaking down of them, the meanings behind them - the blasting honesty, yet Words of Weather - not much of a fan lately.

 

When the invite glared me down I hesitated, exhaled and accepted knowing I couldn't hide any longer, knowing that I needed to purge the word prison within.

I sat for a moment pondering: Oh you really need to think of something creative something spectacular, yet today spectacular isn't just that. I stop myself knowing that I will not do this for the applause that I will do this to continue to grow and fight through these shadows that blur my vision.

 

This past week I have had the urge to write, yet didn't want the waters to wash me away, because if I opened the door I would dissolve, or so I felt.

This is just it - words can be covered in sweetness, yet when bitten into there is an extremely sour center. Uncover the Sour - and write until my face puckers and explodes.

 

So with a puckered face I salivate a thank you for the invite to #writeyourselfalive

 

 

 

 

 

 

Little Girl Within came out Screaming today

 

 

 

(Rough Writing then Revised into a Song)

 

Rough:

 

Across the wire the word travel quakes her inner ear

creating a tremble waking the child within

she climbs the esophageal tube

only after the epiglottis swung back hitting her in the chest

could she plant her feet upon the moist section of the salt buds

screaming she pries wide the never frown mouth

slicing her hands as she grabs hold of the incisors

thrusting her head out

screaming NO!!!

you will not go

hands bleeding torn meat

she lays her head upon the jagged edges of tobacco stained teeth

looking up pulling down

a biting end to her misery

                                 ~ Nikki 2000

 

Revised:

Little Girl woke to the scream of travel

she woke to the scream of travel

then she climbed up the back

yeah she climbed the esophageal track

resting her body across salt bud mountain plains

rest her body across salt bud mountains plains

laying her head

over smoke-stained teeth

reach for the incisors

reaching for the incisors

ending her misery

ending her misery

screaming please

please don't gooooooooooo

I said please

please don't go

 

laying her head

back down again

back to all

where it began

Little Girl

                                          ~ Nikki 2000

Little Boy Land Man

 

 

A piece made a dot to the spot on the floor from the room above to the table below

A piece made a dot to the spot on the floor from the room above to the table below

Little boy swaying to and fro

mouth hid

hide behind shirt

A piece made a dot to the spot on the floor from the room above to the table below

 

Oh Little Boy land man

Oh little boy land man

where did you go?

 

Oh Boy made island

Oh Boy made island

Island of sorrow

 

 

A piece made a dot to the spot on the floor from the room above to the table below

Standing to move the quake inside a can't help moment mouth speaks behind shirt

 

3 hours of spatula later

 

mouth spewed it's poison from the welling up

the ache to break the heart

Little boy land man

quaking halt to slow rock

crushing weight to make Diamond Shine

didn't know it was mining time

Asbestos poison inside ~ suffocating

stench billowing ma mouth

crushing weight accelerate

Diamond lost for a time

Blackest dot on the spot

is much too hard to shine